1. |
Carpal Tunnel
04:44
|
|||
|
Sometimes I feel like I am dead to this world. No place or purpose, pushed under the stairs collecting dust and mold. Just another rat living inside your walls. Another lost cause.
Walking in circles, been killing time, searching for a reason why "enough is never enough" so I turn my back just to find myself at another dead end. Another dead end, but I'm getting used to it. Another dead end, my new best friend. "No wife, no picket fences," I've made a living off digging my own grave. Carving these words into my headstone, "this is all I have, this is everything." Truth be told, I'm scared to death to bet my life on this because I've been in debt since the day I was born and every hand I'm dealt is just another regret. I'm all in. I've got nothing left, nothing left but empty pockets and my head in my hands. Convinced I'm nothing but a burnt out wick, but the constant urge to keep moving on keeps my blood warm and my heart beating like a fucking war drum. Can you hear those sticks beating against my ribs? Truth be told, my will keeps slipping away every chance it gets. Just when I think I have a grasp on it, the carpal tunnel opens up my fist. "Is this what you want? Then this is what you'll get for holding on. Is it worth the pain in the end?" I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. (the whisper part of the lyrics will be left out) "No wife, no picket fences." I've made a living off digging my own grave. Carving these words into my headstone. "This is all I have, this is everything."
|
||||
2. |
Wreckage
03:34
|
|||
|
Time is running out and when it's gone it's gone.
But I can't turn my back
on all the blood and sweat I've shed,
on this lonely path I tread.
Where only stubborn men like me
have the heart to walk and face the harsh reality
of following a dream.
I'll be the first to strike the match
I'd rather bleed out before I burn to death.
I know I said that I was so much more than this
But that was then,
I've gone through some things since.
I know I said that I was so much more
But here I am still broken down.
So I bite the bullet with crooked teeth.
Who ever said "Time heals all"
better start practicing what they preach.
'Cause I've taken nothing from your words.
You try and sway me.
Tell me this is all for nothing
but I stay chained to the only thing I love.
Just take me back
to when I had the chance.
No where to go, but up.
This place can turn and honest kid
into a man of cowardice.
I know I said that I was so much more than this
but that was then.
I've gone through some things since.
I know I said that I was so much more
But here I am ,still broken down.
|
||||
3. |
So Nearly Free
04:38
|
|||
|
I tried my best to keep quiet,
To keep my head held down,
To wear a smile and pretend I'm fine,
To convince the world around me
That I'm not sick and tired of being afraid
Of waking up and having to live another day trapped in these surroundings
With a permanent mask sewn to my face.
Sometimes I feel like I'm dead to this world,
Like I faded out years ago, but I will not let the rain wash me away.
"Dear father this is all I have."
I know it's not much, but at least it's something.
Underneath the skin, behind the dirt and grime,
Hides a lost scared kid, a forced fed child,
From a broken home with no place else to go.
Left out to dry in the bitter cold.
We keep our heads buried beneath the sheets, sins pushed under our beds.
Skeletons living in our closets, cold breath fogging up the pains of glass.
We all have our fears, they stay carved in our minds,
Keeping us from sleep, keeping us from moving on.
Sometimes I feel like my purpose on this earth
Is to be a never ending example,
A constant display of what it's like to constantly fail.
"Dear mother, this is all I have."
I know it's not much but at least it's something.
This is my life in black and white.
I can't say I love it, but at least it's better than nothing
They call it a gift, make of it what you will.
Once the chord is cut and the basket is filled the nightmare begins.
We all have our fears, they stay carved in our minds,
Keeping us from sleep, keeping us from moving on.
They call it a gift, make of it you will,
So precious, so innocent, so clean, so frail.
Once the chord is cut and the basket is filled, the story begins.
As the pages pile up, the more the weight that weighs down
And there's only one way out.
Straight through hell.
|
||||
4. |
Oil and Water
03:36
|
|||
|
Days spent struggling to keep these few last screws from coming loose, but time keeps stripping the threads instead. Everyday I find myself retracing the same shallow footsteps and ending up in the same dead ends. Some say that life is a gift. Some say life is shit. But i truly believe, life is what you make of it. Im no half hearted man, but I have my doubts. Stuck in this troubled mind with no way out. Walking this earth in the shadow of a ghost. No direction, no place to call my home. I grown so numb to this complacency. It all feels so natural, like this is where I'm supposed to be. Where i can stand as one. Broken but holding on. Where I can piece myself back together. On my own. Where i can stand as one. Solitude. Where i can find myself lost, but not alone. Solitude. Im no half hearted man, but I have my doubts. Stuck in this troubled mind. I k now this place too well. Isolation. I know this place too well. I know it all too well.
|
||||
5. |
Uprooted
03:15
|
|||
|
Are you building up your faith?
Just to burn down all your sins?
Are you treading someone elses path
Just to forget where you've been?
You can't erase the past
Or cover up the tracks you've made in this endless maize.
You can't erase the past
But you still hold your breath
I am no hero, I am no god.
I do not preach, I do not speak in tongues.
I'm just as lost and weak as the next
But when it comes to giving up
I am relentless.
And when I find my last shred of hope
I will not let it go
I'll hold it to my chest
Until my heart stops beating
And my bones picked clean.
Some need a lover
Some need a god
Some need a bottle
To find the strength it takes to carry on
When all you truly need is the air in your lungs
And eager blood coursing through your veins.
I think I've found my own salvation
Where the river ends and the sunrise starts.
I've found my own salvation.
A place to soak my calloused feet
And hang my heavy head.
A place to dress my wounds
And rest my broken back
A place in my heart in mind where i can live and die in peace.
I am no hero, I am no god.
I do not preach, I do not speak in tongues.
I'm just a stubborn man that doesn't know
How to give up.
|
||||
6. |
Revive
03:12
|
|||
|
I know it's hard to let go
When holding on is all you've ever known
Take from me what you will
Take everything.
You've given all you have to give
Now it's time to just move on
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But your heart's gone through enough
No.
I've been here before
And I'm not coming back
I'm not done burning yet.
So fill my chest with stints
And my lungs with oxygen
Like father, like son
Please let me breathe again.
|
||||
7. |
Dread
03:12
|
|||
|
It's not the scream of the midnight train
Or the cold whisper of the autumn rain.
It's not the static of the god damned box fan
Keeping me from sleep.
It's a voice only I can hear
The voice of failure
The voice of a defeated man breathing down my neck.
And while this ghosts haunts my every move
Every step I take
I hope and pray for the day he'll let me go
And pass me by
But he's stays pearched on my back, stuck in my side
Says, "If you fail again, know it will be your last."
I cannot live like this.
"I've been the hands digging your shallow grave
Making myself at home
Spit shining your empty casket
Yet, you refuse to let me go."
You carved a hole in my head
Filled it with fear and doubt
Told me," it's for the best, one day you'll understand,"
It's not the sound of the midnight train
Or the faint screams of men like me
Giving up everything we have.
Being all we can be.
This is me. Half man half machine.
This is me. The damaged product of my mistakes.
We are the authors, the failures, the ghosts,Lost in our heads, deprived of all hope.Tangled up in bad luck,
But i wont give up.
|
||||
8. |
Old Homes, New Graves
04:36
|
|||
|
Your head was down, as you dragged your feet
So hopelessly, I just turned my cheek
Looked the other way
As if i had no clue,
That you were suffering.
Sometimes it's just too late to say goodbye
Something you once held so close to your heart
Just withered away, rotted out
And burnt to the ground
And I was no where to be found
I could've been your crutch
I could've been your friend
But I got tangled up in my own mess.
If i could turn back time.
No I can't turn back time.
Please let me explain.
Sometimes it's just too late to say goodbye
Caught up in our own hopeless lives
I left you hanging by a thread
Frayed by my own selfishness.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Away with the wind
A piece of yourself is gone
I've said it once, I'll say it again
I left you hanging by a thread
Frayed by my own selfishness
I let you down once again.
I'm sorry.
|
||||
9. |
Carving Words
04:08
|
|||
|
All I want you to know
Is that I've been here before
Stuck at the bottom
I've tasted the floor
Always the last in line, patiently waiting for my turn to shine
But it never comes
They say, what's the sun without a little rain?
You know they love to say
Anything to make you feel at ease
And not as worthless but...
If I gave you all I had, would it be enough?
All I ask is for a fighting chance.
I've lost too much sleep over things I can't change
And it's wearing me down
From the inside out
These tired eyes have seen brighter days
Sure, time will heal the wounds
But the scars remain.
For everyone to see a common ground for
The strong and the weak but the difference between
Dying on your feet and living on your knees
They say what's the sun without a little rain?
But it's been pouring for days
I've seen it wash away better men than me
But I still remain.
I gave you all I had.
I've lost too much sleep over things I can't change
And it's wearing me down
From the inside out
These tired eyes have seen brighter days
Sure, time will heal the wounds
But the scars remain.
I've been breaking my back, just scraping by
All on a whim and a preyer
That you will take me in
And hear me out.
Look me in the eyes.
It might just save me from burning out.
I've lost too much sleep over things I can't change
And it's wearing me down
From the inside out
These tired eyes have seen brighter days
Sure, time will heal the wounds
But the scars remain.
I've been breaking my back
Just scraping by
All on a whim and a preyer
That you will take me in
And hear me out.
|
||||
10. |
Rusted Over
04:20
|
|||
|
I can see the desperation in your eyes
No means to forgive, no will to forget
And the only thing you have left to hold
Is that empty bottle and your half full glass
You've burned every bridge you've walked
Sunk every ship
But still you wonder how you ended up like this
Sinking slowly in a sea of regret.
Stagnant, frozen in fear of what is coming next
Shallow breath, helplessness
Scared to death.
He was a man with a heart of gold
It's hard to see him go like this
He suffered for far too long
But rest assured he left in peace and quiet.
I can't hold it in
I can't choke it back
I tried to bury it deep inside my chest.
I can't hold it in
I can't choke it back
But in a way that poor old man was me
And this is just a flash back.
Leave now, but don't go to far now, don't go too far away
Find rest.
You took a piece of me and I can't get it back
You fought so long, you're time has come.
Let the wind take you now.
Take me with you.
I can't hold it in
I can't choke it back
I can never forget.
I could see the desperation in your eyes
No means to forgive, no will to forget
And the only thing you have left to hold
Is that empty bottle and your half full glass
You've burned every bridge you've walked
Sunk every ship
But still you wonder how you ended up like this
Sinking slowly in a sea of regret.
Stagnant, frozen in fear of what is coming next
Shallow breath, helplessness
Scared to death.
They say the last ten seconds of life
Are the best or the worst you'll have
Breathe, let your heart beat
While it still can.
|
||||
11. |
Cold Reality
04:48
|
|||
|
Almost everything I have ever loved about this life has died
But I am still alive
Feet frozen to the touch but still moving on
With my anchor as my crutch
WHen did waking up become such a burden
When did breathing in become such a chore
That's life.
I'm still so young,
But I've grown so numb
To everything that once gave me warmth
And I want it back.
Every other day, another panic attack
Another war that I have yet to win
If this is life
Trying to drag me down, there's no chance in hell
If this is life, it's bittersweet
But I won't let it get the best of me.
No.
I can hear my demons
Laughing behind my back
Ringing in my ear
Loud and clear
Like the Devil's wind chimes
It gets so hard to breathe when your face is pushed into the dirt
And that cold sharp heel of the world only presses harder into your spine.
If this is life
Trying to drag me down, there's no chance in hell
If this is life, it's bittersweet
But I won't let it get the best of me.
No.
I won't, I won't let it get the best of me.
I won't let it get the best of me.
That's life.
|
||||
Of Virtue Lansing, Michigan
If you like Of Virtue, you may also like:
The Guilt & The Grief
by Polaris
supported by 7 fans who also own “Salvation”
Fantastic EP, some of their best stuff. No Rest is just amazing, one of their best songs.
go to album
supported by 5 fans who also own “Salvation”
Not a fan of the new album but this Polaris album is just what I love about metalcore. Saw them live in CH last year and on stage they are amazing. If you're new to Polaris (doubt it) start here !
go to album
Sundered
by Where The Waves Are Born
Scalding metalcore from Spain, “Where the Waves Are Born” swings from clean to growled vocals over blindingly intricate fretwork.
go to album
Transitional Forms
by 𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖕𝖙𝖔𝖔𝖙𝖍
Sharptooth fight bigotry with melodic hardcore, their breakdowns an ideal vehicle for singer Lauren Kashan's incendiary insights.
go to album
Dans L'Interminable
by KREATIONIST
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 7, 2022
go to album
Castle in the Clouds
by The Wise Man's Fear
supported by 5 fans who also own “Salvation”
Realistically, I should have bought this album after the first 100 scrobbles of In Reach (Out of Touch), but it's never too late to do the right thing. This has a different atmosphere (and story) than The Lost City, but it's just as good and just as melodic.
go to album
